glub

Still you ask why I’m feeling so glum glub glub
Just swimming all day in this water-tight tub
One eye on the ageing the other on me grub
Come join the liberation of fresh water fish club
Lalala lalalalalalalalala

When young, I was placed in this tank
Though the water was green and all slimy and stank
I was so in at the deep end and finally sank
O gurbly gurbly blankety blank

Still you ask why I’m feeling so glum glub glub
Just swimming all day in this water-tight tub
One eye on the ageing the other on me grub
Come join the liberation of fresh water fish club
Lalala lalalalalalalalala

I’m nervously biting my scales
Im surrounded by ancects and grotty old snails
Dead beetles and spiders and mosquito entrails
Its enough to make any fish go off the rails

Still you ask why I’m feeling so glum glub glub
Just swimming all day in this water-tight tub
One eye on the agen the other on me grub
Come join the liberation of fresh water fish club
Lalala lalalalalalalalala

As the water gets dirtier, so do I
I cant change the pollution however I try
When I blow my last bubble, most folks will ask why
That poor little fish was too young to die

Still you ask why I’m feeling so glum glub glub
Just swimming all day in this water-tight tub
One eye on the ageing the other on me grub
Come join the liberation of fresh water fish club
Lalala lalalalalalalalala

This solution I wish could come true
That my tank could be clean so I can start of anew
But tank cleaning’s a job that fish cannot do
He needs help from outside, just like me and you

Still you ask why I’m feeling so glum glub glub
Just swimming all day in this water-tight tub
One eye on the ageing the other on me grub
Come join the liberation of fresh water fish club
Lalala lalalalalalalalala
Lalala lalalalalalalalala

eli the fly

I'm Eli the fly
and people keep asking me why
I've been around for all to see
I aint got no ties
cos I'm the cleverest of flies
would you like to be as free as me?

On monday its the telly
on tuesday its the flix
and wednesday I have an early night
on thursday its the local dance
and friday its the pub
and saturday, a nice bird seemed just right

I'm Eli the fly
and people keep asking me why
I've been around for all to see
I aint got no ties
cos I'm the cleverest of flies
would you like to be as free as me?

I love my mummy
I love my daddy
my 8,000 brothers and sisters too
love is the answer
for all this world today
a fly for a flymotter will never do

I'm Eli the fly
and people keep asking me why
I've been around for all to see
I aint got no ties
cos I'm the cleverest of flies
would you like to be as free as me?

my life is very busy
I'm never standing still
and its a fantastic life living on the dole
I do just what I like
and nobody seems to mind
am I glad I havent got a soul

I'm Eli the fly
and people keep asking me why
I've been around for all to see
I aint got no ties
cos I'm the cleverest of flies
would you like to be as free as me?

suddenly disaster happened oh so soon
an aerosol can is all that Eli saw
his wings they ceased to function
and his head began to spin
his little body fell dead upon the floor

now call yourself Eli
for your life is just like his
except that you have got a soul to show
your end may come so sudden
and eternity will be there
ever thought of where you're gunna go?

*sigh*

Ive recently been struggling to find a way of doing things wrong and not caring. That sounds weird, but I'll try to explain. If I do accidentally something wrong, I feel really down about myself and start trying to hide from people, because I dont want to hurt anyone and dont feel like being sociable. Several people close to me have been trying to stop me hiding, but that doesnt help solve the problem, just makes me feel even more uncomfortable and want to hide again. I had it on my heart to get advise and see if others have the same/ similar issues and how they 'deal' with it. Thing was, I felt that there was only one person that I was meant to talk to, so I did. My techie 'dad'. He's great! Anyway, he said that he finds the best way to cope is to be able to laugh at yourself. Im going to try it. Its not going to be easy, but then, these things never are.

persecution...

well someone wants me dead... for the first time in ages i feel really loved and accepted and happy-all cos of something techie dad said on sunday, and i almost get run over, hav a coach almost run into the side of the bus, and have a football bounce off my head.

wow

at DGB (discipleship grow band) last night, a few things struck me. not least the story about a father and daughter I know. the daughter had followed mother out of the meeting one sunday morning, and came back alone and crying. she went streight for the row of chairs that father was sitting in, and crawled streight under the chairs to come out just where he was. still bawling, she then crawled onto his lap. neither said anything, just sat there. father put his arms round daughter and it was enough.
God's like that. if we're in a state, we dont have to say anything to him, we can just sit in his 'lap' and bawl our eyes out. He'll put his arms round us and give us comfort, but nothing needs to be said.

We were also talking about what we would do if we really really love God. we had to write them down, and also write down things we would do for 2 other people we dont always get on with, that we would do for them if we loved them. the challenge; to go and do them.

.

woo my provisional driving licence came this morning! i can now drive legally...
anyway, what i was originally going to post about. I've been reading a book called 'plea for purity' (I recomend it to everyone and anyone). Its brouht me abit closer to God, and there are things in it that i never really thought about before. there are several bits that stood out, but here's the one that hit the most:

For those who have faith, Christ - the one who truly unites - always stands between the lover and the beloved. It is his Spirit that gives them unhindered access to one another. Therefore, when sin enters a marriage and clouds the truth of love, a faithful disciple will follow Jesus in the church, not his or her wayward partner.

Emotional love will protest this because it is prone to disregard the truth. It may even hinder the clear light that comes from God. It is unable and unwilling to dissolve a relationship, even when it becomes false and ungenuine. But true love never follows evil: it rejoices in the truth (1 Cor. 13:6). Both partners must recognize that unity of faith is more important than the emotional bond of their marriage. Each of us who claims to be a disciple must ask ourselves: "If my first allegiance is not to Jesus and the church, who is it to?" (Luke 9:57-60)

angels(2)

aparently there are angels looking after me and 'someone really loves' me. dont know why. spose the fact that i didnt get blown up/ electricuted on saturday might have a point tho... through my own stupidity and lack of thought i was cutting through a wire in order to shorten an extension lead. unfortunately i forgot to unplug it from the mains first, so was 'applauded' by a big bang and sparks. indoor fireworks! to add to the safety of it all, the knife i was using had a metal handle, and the sparks could well have set fire to my bed... at least the worst didnt happen. anyhoo... back to doing safe electrics.

flying on the wings of angels, but do angels really look like this?

what do these heavenly beings actually look like, and what do they do? any angel stories out there? i know of a few that are flying around...

well just in case i have started to get morbid, here are the pictures from yesterdays 'face painting' lesson. first the really horrible icky one:


and then my attemt at someone else.... (oh and thats the good side, the other side went abit wrong...)

duuuuuuu

sitting at college bored out of my brain. want to just collapse on the floor, but holding it together just enough not to. woo (not) for stage make-up this afternoon. its on faces :( sob *wimper* gunna get plastered in the stuff. want to go home. not allowed to. could go house tho. n make up some excuse. almost collapsed earlier. had to get a chocolate bar. not as collapsable as before, but near enough. hmm. want to stuff my face full of food but i cant. for some reason there is a food block, and its never been there before. i physically cant eat anything. had to force myself to eat a choc bar n even then almost threw it up. its not this bug or whatever the others had this weekend. i dont know what it is. if im ill its a mental ill not a physical one. just dont have the energy to carry on. even if i did start doing things extra fast earlier. felt abit like what people say its like when ur on speed. hmm. oooooooooooow. why cant i just disappear?

i wanna be home, i wanna be at whitestone soooo much. why oh why do i have to be stuck here in this stupid depressing house?

He is strong

He is strong, so you dont have to be
You will find the strength you seek
In the courage to be weak
So let go, let go
Rest in your father's arms
Cause when you're weak
He is strong

You are strong, so I dont have to be
I will find the strength I seek,
In the courage to be weak
So, I let go, let go
Rest in my father's arms
When I'm weak,
You are strong.

needing guidance. dont want to end up like him. either him. specific hims. need to know what God wants cos i dont want to ignore it and end up yeah. tell me what to do! please? someone?

woopeedeedoo. life. hmm. if only i didnt have anything to live for. urgh.anyone know how to stop nightmares? do they even class as nightmares if you have your eyes open? or is that just sadistic thinking? ooooooooooow.

stressed out. what is it with the difference in opinions? one person cant see where another is coming from, so in the style of typical humans, they assume that the other person is lying. i cant cope with life like that. people assuming im lying or not telling the full truth, just so i get the sympathy. im a 'nice person' but im NOT. im not like what other people think i am. i get stressed. i get angry. loads more than people see. i dont know who i am. dont tell me what i am. i know im dirt. some people keep letting me know that. just ignore the stuff you dont like and you'll be fine. thats how most people live anyway.

:D

thanks to the compassion of a brother yesterday, i didnt get completely soaked or cold! its amaizing(I think anyway, even if you dont) how sometimes people sacrifice things for us without us knowing the fullness of the sacrifice, and also sacrificing something without knowing how much you have blessed someone else. so i just want to thank that brother, cos it really did bless me! lots of hugs for the revolution...