death

theres been a lot of talk about death in my life recently, and several nightmares. some of the things that have come up have made me realise that there is a difference between being scared of dying, and being scared for others if we die. being scared of dying can be because you are unsure of what happens afterwards, its mainly a selfish thing. if we are scared for others for when we die, its slightly different. its not selfish. ill give you an example: my mum is scared of dying-not because she is scared of the dying, but because she doesnt want to leave me and my sister to sort everything out and doesnt want to hurt us so soon after dad died. it sound heartless, but i dont think id be affected in a big way. not emotionally. yeh id probably cry, but it would hit my sister harder. she hasnt been around as much as she'd have liked. plus she is more of an emotional girl than i am. ive changed more than she has(in certain respects). i have at least 2 spiritual mums and 2 spiritual dads(people i go to for support). i have people close around me whereas she doesnt. she has her church, but they dont give her the same kind of support as i get that she would find helpful. i just pray that when mum does die, she'll be strong enough to get through it.