What do you live for?

My friend said he'd looked at my blog the other day. haven't posted for a while, but then life is so hectic you don't have time, or you forget, or there's nothing to say....
God's been pretty inspiring recently, but my head's been preoccupied with other things sometimes even so much that I haven't noticed. Have noticed that, without my spiritual family dragging me on, I wouldn't have much of a life. I'd kinda like to be one of those people who just pigs out on junk food and does nothing but watch tv and plays games all day. I'd get bored, then sleep. End up being another number on the list of people who wasted away and was discovered dead an unknown number of years later. Thats not reality, that doesn't help you have a fulfilled life. A fulfilled life is doing productive stuff, being with people, and making a difference. The best way I've found of doing that is by living in community. There's the motivation to do stuff like going to work. People around to give you a kick when you're being lazy, people to help you through the difficult times - ok so sometimes they are the problem, but sometimes I'm their problem! its what helps you to grow into someone stronger, someone who is able to cope with life's struggles. If it wasn't for my spiritual family, I wouldn't be able to cope with other people for the fear that people would just leave me. I know that the people I live with will always be with me/there for me, even if not in person. I'm still learning, and so are they. so yeh, the life which seems so attractive, the life of eating junk when I like, and doing nothing unless I want to, that life is just a distraction that satan puts there to stop me, and others, from doing what God wants. so, what do you live for? or do you just let life float past?

reflections

havent posted for a while. been busy with a project at work and my mums just gone into birmingham hospital, so its a day trip to see her twice a week, half another day checking post etc. which leaves me saturday and sunday as my days off-which if you know the Jesus Army dont have the tendancy to be days off! im currently in a band practice being semi techie, tho techie dad is doing most things.
Gods doing something inside, not sure what tho. just feel like im on the verge of crying most of the time. suspect half of it is being tired, half of it is stress and the other half is just being extra sensitive to things. for the mathmaticians out there, that was deliberate. everything seems to be too much when i think about it, i dont understand why my head hasnt exploded yet. on the outside i keep things together, but ive always done that unless i really really cant take it anymore, and then i feel like im attention seeking-which is probably why i dont do it very often.
listening to the band rehearsing, all the singers can sing really well, but those that are the most prominant are those that are confident-as you would expect. the 2 that are the quietest have really good voices too, but havent quite got to the point of 'not caring what people think as its God that im worshipping'. trying to encourage them doesnt seem to work. never does when i say things. i know ive just gone from being positive to being negative. i guess ive still got work to do on the confidence front. i never seem to make a difference. try to, just never seems to work. guess its part of being unseen in the body of christ. watching people grow, wanting them to get closer to God, but i seem to be stuck. lol just remembered one of my usual phrases from walking trips. 'go ahead, ill catch you up'. does that work for the kingdom? arent we meant to take people with us and not leave them behind? i dunno. would just rather i was the one left behind rather than anyone else.

God, a computer programmer?

was thinking yesterday in our meeting(after a conversation about God using etch-a-sketch) that God is like a computer programmer. He can program a new world to do what He wants. the only reason we don't is cos we've been programmed to be able to choose from numerous things. theres also another programmer called the devil that creates virus' to take the people from the new world off track. God gives us the capacity to do many things and make many choices, so He knows what we can do and the outcome of each choice, but we can still surprise Him by the choices we make. the further on in our walk we get extra programming so we can do more things. we get rewarded with extra (spiritual?) gifts if we go the way of God. we cant see Him-He's the other side of the computer screen. but He loves us cos He made us-like a computer boffin. its His life. He puts all His energy into it. when we die, He prints off a hard copy of those that know Him and keeps them in His presence, whilst those that dont just get wiped off the hard disk. (like a computer, there are still traces of these people, but they are inaccessible). this works for people that don't know God then die and come back to life. God sends them to the recycle bin then restores them. a bit like a detention centre maybe?

to explain the etch-a-sketch thing, God draws a picture on it-the world and us. at some point He's gunna wipe us clean off this world.

Night
And the spirit of life
Calling

And a voice
With the fear of a child
Answers

Ubukhosi bo khokho [Throne of the ancestors]
We ndodana ye sizwe sonke [Oh, son of the nation)]

Wait
There's no mountain too great
Hear the words and have faith
Have faith

He lives in you
He lives in me
He watches over
Everything we see
Into the water
Into the truth
In your reflection
He lives in you

from ignite...

“be doers of the word, and hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” (James 1v22)
It might sound a bit obvious, but there's a big difference between holding a cheque for a million quid in your hand, and paying a cheque for a million quid into your bank account. One looks good, the other makes you a millionaire. The truth is that we can be like that with God's Word. We can hear loads of amazing sermons, read inspirational books, go to awesome conferences etc…and it's all good stuff. But it doesn't mean ANYTHING unless it makes us spiritually rich and changes you from the inside out.
Am I the only one that struggles with 'been-a Christian-too-long-ness'?! You know, when you've been doing church and following Jesus for so long that you've nailed the whole 'looking the part' thing and everyone thinks that you're God's super-saint, but actually - what's going on inside is a totally different story! That's called deceiving ourselves.
The thing is that God fully knows what's really going on, but it doesn't stop Him loving us, and it doesn't change His commitment to helping us change. He's constantly speaking His love and His purposes to us through His Word. The challenge is to not just hear what He's saying, but to believe it and act on it. Sometimes, if we're struggling to get excited about what we hear, or think we've heard it all before, we just need to be honest with Him and ask Him to give us fresh ears and a willing heart.
Who knows, as we let God's word go past our ear-drums and into our heads, hearts, hands and feet - it might just transform our lives and our world.
Just a Thought!

sacrifice

It says in the bible that we should give up everything for the kingdom. recently ive been trying to work out what that means. we have to be prepared to lay everything, even our lives down for God and His work. Community is the work of God, so should we lay everything down to move in? well this is my current problem. to lay everything down for full style 3 membership it means i have to put my relationship with the only person ive ever really loved and felt completely secure with on hold for 3+ years. under strict reading of the bible, this means i have to give him up. however, thinking about it, is it not better to continue the relationship outside of community and be able to focus on God more, than to be in style 3 community(which i really want to do) and be distracted? Yes God wants everything from me and yes I want to give Him that, I just dont feel He gets it all when Im worrying about if Im going to lose people. surely security is better than screwing yourself up inside and shredding yourself to pieces? I know I like being in control and knowing whats happening and that Gods working through that with me, but taking away someone thats brought me so close to God? I dont know. something for you to think about-whats God doing in you? Have you got/had any impossible decisions to make? How has knowing God helped you through them? Have you ended up taking the choice that hurts least? or most?

Fathers

Sunday we were 'bigging up' people who had made a significant difference in our lives. unfortunately im under dicipline not to do that with one person. ill big them all up: i really look up to them. my other fathers. father number 1: God. Hes great! He loves me for who I am, He created me. father number 2: My shephard. Hes cool. really funny. supported me through alot. father number 3: techie dad. given me great advise. trusts me where others dont always. father number 4: dead. father number 5(in progress). great man of God. weird-but arent we all! father number 6(in progress). a weirdo by admition. useful for sound effects.
whats your father figure like?

One day a group of people got together. They had all been healed by Jesus. One asked another to tell their story of how Jesus touched them and healed them. "What do you mean touched me? Jesus never touched me." "But I thought you said he'd healed you?" "He did, but He never touched me." "How did He heal you then?" "He spoke with authority and He healed me"
so 2 groups formed. One the touchy church who had been healed by Jesus touching them, the other the church of the word.
They each gathered on a sunday to speak about their healings and the greatness of God. The touchy church singing 'touch me Jesus', the church of the word 'speak now to me Lord'.
A few months went by. A new person moved to town, and it came to the attention of the church leaders that he also had been healed by Jesus. The leader of the touchy church stepped foward. "I understand you have been healed by Jesus, we'd like you to come to our church and speak to us about how He touched you and healed you." "I'd love to," came the response, "But Jesus never touched me. He healed me, yes, but He never touched me." The leader of the church of the word stepped foward. "In that case, we'd like you to come to our church on sunday to talk to us about how Jesus spoke to you with such authority and healed you." "What do you mean? Jesus never spoke to me, well He did but thats not how He healed me." Intrigued they asked him how he had been healed then. "Well He did what He always does when He heals people" "What was that?" "He just spat in my eye."
So he formed the church of the holy spittle. Each sunday they gathered to sing 'spittle of the living God fall afresh on me'

The point of this story? When we try to put Jesus into a box and say 'this is how He always does things' He steps out of it. We need to accept that Jesus deals with different people in different ways. When recieving the spirit one person might fall over whilst another laughs or cries. another may not even show it on the outside, but feel an uplifting of their spirit inside. We cant push people out just because they react differently to God or have different gifts and abilities. We are all one in the body of Christ. If we push the foot out, how will we stand? If we push the Hand out, how can we serve?