thoughts

I was going to write the last 5 days in present tense and change the dates to make you think that I had a computer, but I really cant be bothered and it would be lying. anyway, I got back tonight and my mum told me that my cousin had rang my grandma, just to find out what Id been doing over the days I was up ther. this was a suprise as we dont normally talk. anyway, my gran told him what Id done and he felt a bit ashamed that me, a girl, had done a load of DIY jobs for her-which would class as a 'mans job' and he never did anything for her. why am I saying this, well it made me think. the whole family is, quite frankly useless. they are anglicans which doesnt help. they manage to blow up kettles just by filling them with water and turning them on. its the way life goes. some people cant do anything right and think they can do everything, whereas other people think they cant do anything right, yet its the complete opposite. we can be humble, or just in denial. life is complicated. I dont mean to rubbish the family, cos they do have their ministry, they just dont seem to have found it yet. I pray that they find the spirit.

another inspiration I had this week-which is slightly more constructive- is to do with my sunburn. I was an idiot in the first place to be sunbathing, with my eyes shut and no suncream. but it was done and I got the sunburn. anyway it really hurts. I ralised that its not pain I was feeling, it was just discomfort. real pain is when you have someone hammering nails through your wrists and hang you from a cross where you slowly sufforcate and drown in your own blood.

think about it.