im loving it here at whitestone. ive been having some really inspiring moments and have been feeling uplifted by the atmosphere thats lingering around. my mum came out of hospital the other day. i didnt want her to. thats partly selfishness because i want to be here rather than there and having to look after her, but im not sure if its a good thing or not. if i was looking after my mum id be confined to a small area. wouldnt be able to go to church and the only way id get to see people would be if they came to me. i would get really down and start feeling suicidal again-like the last time i went back. theres nothing inspiring about my house. whenever i go there, i get this feeling of a depression over the house. i have done for just over a year. theres a sister here who ive only just started to get to know, and it made me cry when i found out shes planning to leave. i feel selfish knowing that i want her to stay. my point would be, can we be selfish for God?